Everything Happens for a Reason
What exactly are the reasons?
“Things” happen and I think we, as a people, seem to ignore exactly what is going on; plowing forward and keeping our little world going; maintaining the life that fuels our patterns of behaviors; repeating the sins of the past - is there a reason for all this?
When I sit at a stop light, I watch everyone driving by. I look at the faces hidden behind sunglasses; chatting away on the phone; or cursing the person in front of them. Do they look for reasons? Do they hear what’s spoken to them? Do they wrestle, like me, with the meaning of the whole damned thing? Or…or….do they drive and ignore the signs?
If my child gets a cold, what is the reason? Too much sugar? Bad hygiene?
If I loose my keys, what is the reason? Air headed? Lazy? Or maybe they fell behind the cabinet so I could see that I dropped $10 down there three months ago.
If my child is born with Down Syndrome, is there a reason? Punishment? Reward? Roll of the dice? Genes?
If someone lies to me, what could be the reason? Rage? Fear? Sadness? Spite? Stupidity?
Why are these cows crossing the road when I am in such a hurry?
After many, many hours of contemplating this, I think I’ve come up with THE reason - THE REASON FOR ALL OF IT.
What on earth! One reason?
Yes.
Stop the cars. Shut off the cell phones and go ahead, let that guy in front of your car in (what could it hurt..I mean really?)….
Oh yes, back to THE REASON. The only reason why anything happens is so for this:
The truth. How in the world does a child’s cold relate to the truth? Or Down Syndrome? Or misplaced keys? Or pokey cows?
Ok, give me one more minute to explain. It goes like this:
If my child gets a cold and I have to face the fact that, yes, I do give my kid sugar-filled, high fructose corn syrup juices on a daily bases, and I might have to admit that this is not a good thing and have to start giving the child good, clean water instead.
If I loose my keys, I may have to admit to the fact that I am air-headed and will not take control of this part of my life because in fact if I become organized, I might also have to admit that my life, overall, is not working very well.
If my child is born with Down Syndrome: I have to accept that I have a child with special needs that may have mental retardation, major and many minor medical problems, speech defects, and other issues that can overwhelm - and if we’re not ready - rip a family apart.
If someone lies to me: I have to look at the fact that someone, often a person close to me, has chosen to lie and hide something from me. Are the lies little, medium or super sized? If I confront the lies, what does that mean for me? Can I live with someone that lies? Why did I choose this person in the first place? Can someone that lies change? And, do I continue this friendship, job, acquaintance, or marriage?
If cows cross the road just as I’m leaving to catch a plane I might have to admit that I rush things, push myself and others too hard. Maybe I over schedule; or maybe I just need to look at a cow and appreciate it’s fine beauty because I no longer stop and smell the roses.
You see, the reason always come back to the truth - the truth about everything. And the world becomes so much clearer when we know what we are dealing with inside ourselves. It’s all downhill from there because as you know, everything happens for a reason.
Renée on 12 Nov 2007 at 1:22 am #
Please, please, please don’t be so hard on yourself.
I know you’re going through some tough times. Don’t blame yourself for them.
– Giving your child icky juice did not cause him to get a cold. Life gave him a cold. It happens. We all give our kids juice, for heaven’s sake!
– Losing your keys occasionally doesn’t make you an airhead or disorganized. Distracted and worried, okay. Put a hook by the door and stop beating yourself up.
– The fact that your beautiful son was born with Down Syndrome will make your life more difficult and at times will make it seem overwhelming. But it is in no way your fault.
– It’s awful to confront the fact that someone important to you lied. But don’t question yourself and ask, Why did I choose this person in the first place? That’s just another way of blaming yourself. It’s unhealthy. Get past that. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
– You’re even beating yourself up over the cows when you say I might have to admit that I rush things, push myself and others too hard. Maybe I over schedule. Stop it! You’re on the right track when you say I just need to look at a cow and appreciate it’s fine beauty because I no longer stop and smell the roses.
I guess that was the whole point of your post, wasn’t it? Maybe I just caught on. (Lightbulb moment) I’m just worried because I detected so much self-loathing and self-blame in your post. It’s not just cows that have fine beauty that need to be appreciated, you know.