The new always mixes with the old. Sometimes the past pokes at my senses and I miss it: the guinea pigs and dogs now gone; the smells of my old backyard; the dreams of a life that turned out to be an illusion; the nob on the bathroom door missing a lock; the stove that didn’t work; the green couches; and the walk around the block.

There is this great Tom Petty tune called The Apartment Song. It’s a song about how he misses his old life. He doesn’t want it back, but it just happens that this one night, he’s a bit lonely.

Oh yeah I’m alright
I just feel a little lonely tonight
I’m okay, most of the time
I just feel a little lonely tonight.

And sometimes that’s just it. A night where melloncally sets in. I want this shiny, new life, but it is possible to feel two things at once. In fact, is there any other way?