Every time I travel outside of Costa Rica, the place I’ve called home for almost twelve years, I get a chance to not only appreciate my home but also to appreciate the places that are not.

The first bite I took into food made in a New York deli - something we just happened on while walking - I rolled around on the floor like Superdog after eating the magic pill. Someone asked me what foods are good in Costa Rica, and I said: Raw. The avocados, papaya, cheeses, and herbs grown on the side of the mountain should be brought home and cooked to one’s delight. Outside the home, it’s a lot of rice and beans.

The other thing I missed is grass. With all the rain (though this year there’s less), we have mushy grass most of the time. And then if one chooses to water in the dry season, it’s still kind of a crunchy green. Just a small patch of grass to roll around in that doesn’t have biting ants waiting to attack your toes or a mushy, wet layer of dirt under the weedy-not-very-soft, grass is cielo - heaven.

There other thing I found on this trip was more of what makes a home a home. Family. In the hotel as I was trying to get the suitcases ready to be taken down to the lobby, I placed the two children in the hall. Nice, flat carpeted areas are great for Addison to practice walking. However, he chose not to walk. Instead he grabbed a fluorescent light bulb - longer than he is - and yanked it out of the fitting that was to provide that “romantic-hotel” lighting. I grabbed the glass bulb from his hands just before he broke it across his sister’s head. And there we were, laughing. It felt just like home.

The moment my kids buckled in for the flight, they both reached over for their safety brochures. Coco reacquainted me with what we should do if we were to land in water. She even demonstrated. Addison soon tired of the exercise and smacked his sister with the corner of the stiff, three-fold instructions in the head. That was the beginning of the end of a short trip to New York to visit friends.

Our trip was a typical journey to the States except for the fact that I had to sit with an oxygen tank between my legs for the flight and had an oxygen machine delivered to the hotel before so we could do some sight-seeing. At the end of Addison’s recovery from pneumonia, we’re still in need of some oxygen while he sleeps.

We took a ferry ride to the Statue of Liberty. We circled the large Lady; head for the souvenir store; and stood in line to go home. I mean the whole thing is great, but I’ve learned that hitting monuments and museums should be hard and fast with kids as they’ll soon have to pee; need something to eat and drink; and repeat the phrase: Are we going yet? until my ears want to run away and scream.

We always miss our little home. I’m still trying to unload suitcases. As always, a trip to the States means purchasing those “few” items I just can’t get here. Since it had been a over a year since we’d made it to the States, those little things added up quickly.

I’ll post more as soon as I can get the laundry done and get the kids back to school as another reason we traveled is they had a week off. Back in the swing of things and happy to bask in the sunshine again.

The race to the finish line is slow, crooked, and bubbles in it’s own fashion. And after awhile, I’ve realized perhaps there’s no finish line at all.

Addison has taken to grooming people. Since he’s been able to say just about every one’s name now, he loves to give commands. “Mami,” he says and points to the floor. He races towards me with a comb in hand.

For the next half hour, he combs my hair. His breathing turns heavy as he concentrates on his work. If I move my head, he’ll grab me by the jaw and push me back again because he wasn’t quite finished on that side.

Everyone around him screams in laughter. We talk that maybe he’ll be a barber when he grows up. Then, while I’m sitting there with all my hair fluffed over my face, I start calculating what it would take to master the fine motor skills of a scissors and wonder if it’s a safe career for Addison (or the person getting their haircut!).

I’m not trying to “figure-out” my son’s life, but there’s this funny thing my brain does every time he faces a new challenge. I look at motor skills, and cognitive development, and leg strength and, well, it gets very busy up there in my brain. It becomes a reflex.

I do this less with my daughter. If she wants to be a ballerina, great! An artist? Super! A writer? (well I may have to dissuade her from that one.)  A film maker? Go for it! A crane operator? Have fun! It’s taken for granted with my “normal” child that she’ll just pop up like a weed, and I’ll send her off to college or backpacking in Europe to find herself.

Down Syndrome opens up the idea that everything will be alright, it might just take more work to get there. Not being able to hide behind the label “normal” means we have to make up our own race, be happy with new mile-markers; and put up our hands in the air to celebrate each and every victory we get.

Addison finished combing my hair and stood back and said, “Ya, ” meaning he was finished. He held his hands up in the air and did the Costa Rican todo todo sign, which looks like an English speaker saying “no more” or “all gone.” He looked over at the nanny and yelled her name and pointed to the chair. She was his next victim. She’s bent her very short hair forward as he began combing. He worked as if he was in a trance and after a few minutes, stepped back and wiggled his hands in the air to tell us he was finished.

“Todo, todo,” he said.

“Total. Total,” I said, as he raced back to my head and started combing me all over again.

When traveling the jungles, volcanoes and mountain terrain of Costa Rica, I bring raincoats; hiking boots; rubber boots; sunscreen; hats; mosquito repellant; and a load of other things to keep me one layer away from the elements.I never thought to throw in a pair or stiletto heels.

Women brave all the elements to look good here. Stiletto heels can be seen on every street corner, in the backyard, at children’s birthday parties, at the swimming pool, and walking down sidewalks that are a mere rubble of rocks and dirt. The only way I’d wear these things is if I knew I was getting in a car; walked across a paved parking lot and then sat in a chair until I went home again.

It matters not that the heels sink into the grass nor that one could easily twist an ankle on the steep incline to the bus stop. What matters is looking good. And to a Latin woman, that’s always an important point. As my friend mentions on Open Toe Shoes, it’s kind of fun to watch the young girls get a load of knew styles like Converse tennis shoes or sensible flats.

Although the heel will endure, it’s rather fun to watch a tiny emancipation of pained feet get new lease on life.

He’s left of you’ve finally ended it. How to survive these next few weeks, months, years? Start with number one the moment you’ve become a single woman. Repeat and mix as needed.

1.    Ben & Jerry’s Praline Cream Ice Cream. Forget the chocolate - that’s for another step. Ice Cream was born to be vanilla. The Praline part is a perk. It’s important to keep true to tradition at this tender time because your mind is a mush ball of stupid thoughts that are beating you and down and pleading you to get in your car and stalk his house at midnight. Never buy more than a pint; that’s lunacy. Eat in one sitting; that goes without saying.

2.    Chocolate. Find the best chocolate bars you can buy. Nothing cheap. Fork over a few bucks for the really good, dark stuff. It’s acceptable to purchase a few bars with lemon or orange flavor.  Never let your supply run low. Devour one bar each day in the middle of the afternoon to prepare yourself for that lonely night when the most exciting thing on your agenda is a re-run of CSI and/or organizing your underwear drawer.*

3.    Wine. A good Cabernet will smooth out the feathers that have bound up your backside during the day.  If you’ve just become a single parent, be sure to have the first glass at 4 p.m. due to the ravishing hunger that is over taking you because you opted for the bag of M&Ms instead of a good sandwich and your blood sugar level is below sea level.  Children will soon file into the kitchen opening the refrigerator and stand there as if worshiping a false god. Only you can save them. First save yourself and drink. Feel the fermented grapes trickle into your brain and watch yourself invent a fantastic meal out of peanut butter and tuna you never though possible.

4.    Coffee. Hit it hard in the morning. Espresso gives you more points for facing the day with courage when all you can think about is kissing the barista, who never looked attractive until now. Taper off in the afternoon unless you want to count those cracks in the ceiling for yet another night in a row.

5.    Potato Chips. Only gourmet will do. Then, when you’re sitting in front of Oprah bawling because you happened to tune in on orphans in Iraq that have lost their limbs, or puppy mills, or wives who’ve caught their husbands cheating….Come to think of it - down the bag in one sitting and skip Oprah. You’ll never be able handle the sadness. Your tender little ego can only take so much.

6.    Water. Number 1 though 5 will parch you beyond belief. Drink a few glasses through out the day. Your kidneys will thank you.

7.    Yogurt. You’ve got to eat something, and you’ll have no energy to face those empty skillets. A single plate on the dinner table will tear you apart with memories of shared spaghetti and meatballs, candlelit dinners, and that silly time you boiled the egg rolls instead of frying them and the fantastic sex that followed.

8.    Cereal. Immediately after eating yogurt you will be hungry. Cereal is a dead food we pretend is healthy. For now, believe the myth. The crack, snapple, and pop will occupy the dead space in your stomach and hold you over until it’s time to eat the ice cream.

9.    Vegetables. What? Green things. You don’t want to die during this time or have your teeth fall out. You will love again some day, so get a juicer, celery, and some other green things and drink a glass to the life that will begin again some day.

10. Crème brûlée . You’re going to need a blow torch. This is the only food that requires some preparation time, which is good because you’ll need all the time you can get to watch all the seasons of Friends just one more time. Crème brûlée is the perfect food. Close your eyes. See it: the eggs, the creme, the layer of sugar glaze on top. Tap. Tap. Tap. Crack into the top and watch it splinter. One bite at a time, place it on your tongue. This is how life will be, again. Smooth, sweet, warm, rich, and incredible. And after you’ve finished four out of five of the ramekins cups, you’ll wonder what in the world all that crying was for anyway.

*M&Ms are forbidden inside the home. You may purchase a small bag while waiting to check out at the Supermarket
and eat them within 1 minute of leaving the store. M&Ms fill no empty place in the sole and will only make you
fatter than all the above is already going to do. 

**Try to stick to the one glass, but two is understandable. If you don’t drink or can’t find the corkscrew,
hold your thumb out on the counter top and whack it with a hammer. Same effect will ensue after the initial
shock wears off. 

Upon arriving in Costa Rica, getting and receiving email was a slow process. Yet, it was a breakthrough in communicating with loved-ones far away. When my brother served in the Gulf War, we’d get a letter three weeks or more after he’d send it. It was tough to wish him a speedy recovery from his rash of sand flea bites or close battle calls when the news arrived well-after he was on to pitching another tent somewhere in that big, big dessert.

Skype and chats can now keep us connected so fast, I feel at times more connected to people than if I lived down the street. But not quite. Figuring a trip or two into the home budget is something to pencil in the pro or con list (depending on your perspective) when moving abroad.

My little gang and I are heading up to the developed land of milk and honey. We’re going for a ride on a jet plane to New York, yet we do know when we’ll be back again. With so many direct flights popping in and out of Costa Rica, some cities are a breeze to get to.

MotherJungle will have a few interesting posts until I can tear myself away from the claws of my small children to let you know how we’re doing. There’s the “to-die-for” column about the Top Ten Things We All Could Use After a Break-up and a This is What It’s Like to Live With Down Syndrome to mention a few.

The kids said good-bye to the horses and the ducks and the guinea pig and their stuffed animals and the refrigerator and the clothes they’re leaving behind (mostly Coco on that one). It’s always good to get a break from our tiny land, so we can return to appreciate it that much more.

The mammoth mall in Escazú, Costa Rica is taking shape. We’ve been fighting dump trucks, mud, muchachos, cranes, and noise for over a year. It won’t be long and we’ll be some really happy folks chomping down some new foods; sipping tea in the courtyard, and purchasing all my heart could desire.

Rain forests, volcanoes, monkeys, and malls - this could be paradise.

In our continued series of who loves what about Costa Rica, we’re hearing from a Brit that’s settled in quite well in his Costa Rica. Scott Oliver runs a website called welovecostarica.com. He specializes in informing those who are considering a move to Costa Rica with references in real estate, attorneys, laws, and even tips in Spanish. Scott has published several books including: How to Buy Real Estate without Loosing Your Shirt in Costa Rica.

As a bonus, Scott added a few things that “bug” him about Costa Rica. He’s told me, as I also know, that though Costa Rica can be a paradise if you make it one, but we’re all bound to hit a few potholes along the way.

1. Affordable Cost of Living. In the USA or the UK where I lived for decades, I would need to earn at least three times as much money to have the same “live-like-a-king” standard of living that I enjoy in Costa Rica.

2. Costa Rica’s “Perfect Weather.” The weather in the Central Valley is the most perfect and comfortable weather for the human body. No air-conditioning or heating is required at any time of the year and not only does that make living here very comfortable, it makes it affordable!

3.  Parrots Soaring Overhead. The thrill that I never seem to get tired of when is I come out of the supermarket and see a flock of 50 colorful parrots flying overhead. Hearing them chattering and screeching to each other as they fly off into yet another gorgeous, blue sunny sky…

4.  Health Care Quality and Affordability. Many Costa Rican doctors and surgeons have received their training in the best medical schools in the U.S. they use “state of the art” equipment, yet it costs are about 50 percent of what you would be accustomed to and the attitude is also so much more caring.

5.  The Costa Rican People. The Ticos are, after you’ve been hear for a short time and I think you’ll agree, amongst the nicest, most sincere and caring people you could meet.

6. No Housework, Cleaning, and Ironing. I simply cannot imagine doing housework again. For two hours every day, my wonderful maid does everything that I do not want to do for U.S. $20 per week…

7.  Breathtaking Views. When living in Costa Rica, always add 25 percent on top of the “normal” traveling time so you can take another photograph or yet another “you-must-see-this” view! With all those spectacular views Costa rica is called the “Little Switzerland” of Central America because there certainly isn’t any snow!

8.  Fascinating Discoveries. Every time you spot a new bird of prey hovering over a field looking for it’s breakfast or find a weird and wonderful insect, it will remind you how lucky you are to be alive…in Costa Rica.

9. Freedoom, Privacy, No Income Taxes and No Capital Gains Taxes. I’ve never felt more free and content and since I am British and most of income comes from outside of Costa Rica, the only taxes I pay inside Costa Rica are on such things as the sale of the book How to Buy Costa Rica Real Estate Without Losing Your Shirt or other similar ventures.*

10. Simply Stunning Women! The Ticas (Costa Rica women) are probably the sexiest, most attractive women I have ever come across. (Hey, I was single when I wrote this and was allowed to talk about these things…)

Top Ten Things That Bug Me About Costa Rica

1. General Noise Level. Ticos have a much higher tolerance for noise than we do. We do have “spring-like” weather all year round and when you have your windows open all day and night, you will hear more noise from outside that you would normlly do “back home” with all your windows shut tight.

2. Dogs Barking. Although many dogs are the much loved family pet, a big percentage of dogs are the home “security” system and as such, may be left on a short chin to bark away the day and night in conditions that some of us animal lovers do not like…

3. Firecrackers and Fireworks. It’s much better than it used to be, but on religious holidays and other holidays, it can get quite noisy. On New Year’s Eve, the fireworks and firecrackers started at one nanosecond past midnight and continued for two hours.

4. Music from Houses, Bars, and Restaurants. Since it rarely gets below 65 degrees at night…if someone is partying hard with their music blaring and all their doors and windows are left open - You can hear the music from a LONG distance away! Odds are they probably won’t be playing your favorite music either.

5.  Car Horns. Car horns are a form a communication in Costa Rica and are used to convey a variety of complex messages that you and I will never understand. If in doubt - HONK!

6. Driving Habits. Ticos do not like to use their indicators when they are turning, so one should be careful. A Tico driver will often hold a limp left hand out of the window and do a strange, lazy circular wave which means they plan to turn, you just don’t know which way!

7. Burning Garden Refuse and Garbage. It is common even in suburban areas. This may be acceptable in the middle of nowhere, but when you have guests with asthma and the next door neighbor’s gardener starts burning, it can create quite a panicky situation.

8. Trucks. I am not sure exactly what happens when these enormous trucks are barreling downhill and they use their air brakes, but there is a thunderous and deafening noise that really, really disturbs me.

9. Confrontation. The Costa Rica people are very polite and non-confrontational. But, there are occasions when you would like them to be a bit more confrontational and forthright with their opinions.

10. Sex Tourists. It’s amazing how ridiculous a fat, 60 “something” tourist looks when he takes a 20 “something” prostitute to the mall to buy her a “gift.”

Welovecostarica.com was designed to help inform and protect those who are seeking expert information in Costa Rica real estate, living, and retirement. By joining welovecostarica.com Scott offers access to thousands of informative articles, Costa Rica video clips, and a very popular discussion forum. You can also find the book How to Buy Real Estate in Costa Rica Without Loosing Your Shirt at Amazon or his website.

*Reminder that tax issues, money issues, and rates change all the time.
Check latest information for updates.

I’m pleased to again announce a guest column by Mary Earhart. She’s graced MotherJungle before with articles. I enjoy reading her stories as they come from a Costa Rica I can sometimes become removed from as I stay busy with kids. Mary and I also share the common experience of parenting special, challenging kids. Though hers is a bit bigger than mine, a mother’s feelings are often the same.

Trick or Treat

by Mary Earhart

My son was smiling when he showed me a Jack-O-Lantern crab he found in our shower. He (my son) is an adult who has a mild form of schizophrenia, he seldom interacts with other people. But the crab with the bright orange legs drew him out. He caught the little fellow and let him go outside.

A few days ago a huge specimen was in my washroom. Besides those claws there was a bright purple head with orange triangle markings—it was the size of a baseball! Worse, it folded itself up in the screen door jam. I couldn’t hold the door open and prod it with anything at the same time. My son came to the rescue; he was gentle and interested and got the creature to crawl to safety after a short time.

We are living in a remote area of Costa Rica. For a person dealing with mental illness under the care of family, it is a low-stress environment with abundant natural wonders to interact with. I don’t know what my son is thinking but I do know that swimming in the ocean is good for his brain. I believe he has a deeper perception of nature, one I envy. Sometimes he will share something that sounds delusional and ask if I’ve experienced it. I answer no honestly, but I’m careful not to negate his truth.

My son was different as a child but we didn’t know it was an illness. He seemed wise beyond his years, never emotional or complaining about things that bothered the other children. He had a photographic memory and got good grades without studying. Then, in his twenties, when the expectation is that work and family and ambition begin, he completely stepped behind a curtain into another reality.

He is not searching for a solution, at the same time he gives whatever we ask him to a try. Patient and compliant, he waits for us to finally understand. Living in Costa Rica, I think I’m beginning to.

Check out Living How It Is or Getting Younger in Costa Rica for more of Mary’s perspective.

After an influx of funds, La Sabana park in San José got a splashy new look. Buildings are painted, paths are better marked, and the hardest to believe is the new roller blade rink.

The kids and I were able to push Addy’s bike on a smooth path (that’s new too) over to the rink to watch. In the middle, there’s a place to just putz around on skates - patines - and fall gracely, or not so gracefully, as one likes.

On the outer rim, there’s a track. Watching people zip around on it was like something from a movie. Parent’s were cheering on the side - and it was only practice.

Addy was ready to jump in, but we’re scheduling that exciting event for a few years down the road. And the one time Coco tried roller skating, I got some pretty serious bruises. I think they’ll both wait. But, we’ll be back to watch. That’s for sure.